Since we're playing at "Historic Grant Field brought to you by Mc Donald's,sponsored by the Tech Street Carnival", I thought it only appropriate tolist the things that I love about playing at the Joke. In no particularorder, here they are:

1. I love the gentle perfume of the exhaust fumes wafting up from the Downtown Connector. The sound of 12 lanes of traffic whizzing by at 85 mph is a perfect compliment to the sounds of gunfire in the distance.

2. I love the fact that each section of the Joke (upper east, lower west, north, whatever) appears to have been designed by a different artiste, and that none of them seem to have had any idea what the other artistes had done. Or that a football field, ideally, would be centered in a stadium.

3. I love that the entire 10,000 or so person fan base, plus students, will be wearing 10,000 different shades of mustard, and that none of them will actually be the official GTU color "old gold." Many of them will highlight their ensembles with blue or black....also not a GTU color. Oh Lord, help them, for they are surely deficient in their sense of style.

4. I love that it's an engineering school that couldn't figure out how to put an upper deck on the east side without obstructing the view of hundreds in the lower deck with those darned girders. Woe to those who sit in the upper rows of the lower east, for they shall lose sight of the ball on punts, kickoffs, and long pass plays.

5. I love the fact that out of 60,000....uh, 45,000....uh, 40,000 fans, there will be at least as much red and black as there will various shades of Gulden's yellow. Anyone remember the last time the visitors outnumbered us at home?

6. I love the GTU mascot. What could be more intimidating than a large inflateable doll? I mean, LSU [4] has Mike The Tiger. Auburn [5] has a bird of prey. We have a bulldog that you don't want to get too close to (ask Robert Baker). GTU has a golden version of Barney. And never mind about the walking shag carpet "Buzz"....someone needs to explain to "Buzz" that prancing around like he has a corn cob stuck in his colon doesn't make him the San Diego Chicken.

7. I love the contrast in settings between our stadium and the Joke. Sanford sits in a natural valley, surrounded by trees and our campus. The Joke? We already noted the ambiance of the Connector. Those dorms across North Avenue that were built for the Olympics are pretty impressive. Too bad they belong to Georgia State.

8. I love hearing GTU fans sputter and rage obscenties when we beat them...or while we're beating them. For a group that likes to pretend what great sportsmen they are, they are, as a group, the most pathetic cheap shot celebrating, group vandalizing bunch of weasels I've ever seen. Has any SEC team, or other ACC team, ever had to watch the visiting team take shelter at midfield to avoid a rain of liquor bottles and other assorted debris. Sadly, they're still proud of that performance at GTU.

9. I love hearing the Round Mound of Frown alibi after a loss. Not since Charley Pell was blaming everyone else in Gainesville has one man blamed so many others, or failed to give credit to opposing teams that just beat his wide ass. I hear he told the Fridge "we just gave you one" after Maryland punked them. Nice, George.

10. I love that if any nerds try anything with OUR band after our team lays down the smackdown this Saturday, there are going to be some bruised nerds whining about life by Sunday morning.

And I haven't even mentioned the bathrooms, or the Budweiser dance of the nerds. GTU lies and cheats. It's time to restore order to the local universe. I give the GTU offense credit...they're good. They aren't better than Florida [6] or UT, however. If we hold them to 24 or less, we win. If we are +3 on the turnover margin, we win. The GTU defense sucks, just like it has for the last 10 years. We have more weapons than Wake Forest, or Maryland, and a more varied set of weapons than Clempson. HBTD.